Dealing with rejections

It's a character-building process, this job-hunting lark. The biggest challenge for me last week was getting unexpectedly knocked by a rejection following an interview. Unexpected as it wasn't a job I particularly wanted and it wouldn't even have paid enough to live on. But that's the thing about applying for jobs - each one you do, you start imagining yourself there, part of that team, sitting in that office - and of course at an interview you get to dip your toe back into the world of work, and it looks like an escape from boredom, job centres and uncertainty.

I expected a string of no's before getting to the yes. That's the reality for most of us. You can't predict which 'no' is going to throw you off your game but it is likely to happen. It could be because you felt you really put your best face forward and it was deemed not good enough (let's call it the 'taking it personally' knock). It could be because you really, really wanted that particular job (the 'losing the dream' knock). It could be because you just want an end to all this applications, CVs, constant searching (the 'running out of steam' knock).

So what did I learn to do about it? Well I admit it took me longer to pick myself up and dust myself off than it should have done. I think it's healthy to allow yourself to feel the disappointment, wallow in it, but only for a short time - let's say 15 minutes, not two days! Then - move on. Find the next dream job to apply for; or make yourself a better candidate than you were last week, by signing up to learn a new skill, or practising answers to the trickiest questions they tripped you up on in that last interview. There is always something proactive you can do.

Be resilient.

See, this is a flower growing even though it's surrounded by tarmac n stuff. It's resilient, geddit?

Networking for introverts part two: LinkedIn For Dummies

I've been meaning to do this post for ages. LinkedIn is brilliant and yet hardly anyone I know uses it, or uses it properly. My aim for this post is to convince some or even all of you who read this to sign up!

So, what is it? I think of it as 'social networking goes to work'. It has multiple functions and benefits, and so far as I can see, no drawbacks (speaking as a person with a love-hate relationship with Facebook, I've never had that 'I wish I'd never joined' feeling with LinkedIn). It's a great way of:

• keeping in touch with people you've worked with, more important these days as we move around jobs a lot more than we used to;
• connecting to new people - you can see who your contacts know, and ask for an introduction;
• getting your references online, so to speak, in that you can ask for recommendations, and write them for others too;
• researching your job-hunt - you can follow companies you're interested in, discover new ones, you can join groups and get involved in discussions, again finding new connections, and you can of course search for jobs - the great thing being, if you have a connection in a company, those jobs will rise to the top of the list. E.g. I put in 'community development' as a search term, and the first job was with the National Trust - with a little '2nd' next to it, because one of my contacts is connected to someone at the NT. So straight away I can send off a message to my contact asking if she can put me in touch.

It's easy to set up a profile, the basic account is free and is far from basic - can't see why you'd pay for more unless it was your main means of jobhunting - all in all, it's a great way of keeping up your visibility, and of presenting yourself as you want to be seen.

The only possible downside is that some employers apparently take it as read that if you have a LinkedIn profile, it automatically means you're looking for another job. I think this is a real shame, and a misunderstanding, as you can make it clear what you are and are not interested in. But unless this is the case, there really isn't a reason for not being on there, if you work or want to work (landed gentry and lottery winners I guess may not need to bother).

Well, I've convinced myself to give this great site more of my time and effort, even if I don't convince any of you! If you do get yourself a profile, look me up - there's a link at the top of the blog page. See you there.

You don't need funds to live well

One of the things my friends have been suggesting I blog about is on how to save money, and given that a change to a cheaper lifestyle is a big part of the adjustment to any change in circumstances that brings in a lower income, it's something I'm keen to address. My reluctance so far has come from the knowledge that the internet abounds in really good tips and advice and what could I possibly have to offer? Nothing except my own experience, which is after all the point of a blog, so what follows is part one of a seemingly random list of ways I've found so far to save money.

You'll notice the lack of sensible, dull actions like switching utilities and bank accounts etc, all the things moneysavingexpert says you should do. You should. I've made a start. But I don't want to write about that. My main concern is how to still do the things I love, and maybe find new things to do I didn't know I loved. So that's my focus. And part one, predictably for a blog, is all about eating and drinking.

Austerity meals.
This is actually a friend's idea, and one I haven't tried yet, but I loved it so much I've nicked it anyway. Like many of us child-free, solvent adults, she and her friends have been used to going out for meals on a fairly regular basis. I too am used to heading off to Pizza Express (admittedly with a 2 for 1 voucher) at the drop of a hat. Now that said friend and her friends are all down to part time work, they've agreed instead to have dinner at one another's houses, and each bring a course. You still get to celebrate with a slap-up meal, the host(ess) isn't responsible for the whole evening but shares the workload, there's no arguing over the bill at the end of the evening (maybe the washing up), and you can probably sink into a sofa with your coffee aftewards. Win-win.

Popping out for a cuppa. I'm sure you'll be the first to admit, we now have culture of spending an alarming amount of time and money in coffee shops. It's an expensive habit, and one I reckoned I'd give up more or less while between jobs. Actually, it's the treat I crave more than anything - if only for the change of scene. I stagnate if I stay at home, especially when faced with an endless and thankless list of job-hunting tasks. There's something soothing about the right cafe, with the right amount of background noise and buzz, and a comforting warm drink. If I'm feeling stuck at home, I sometimes find an hour in a cafe with a pad, paper and job application is amazingly productive. I have two places I can list so far, that fall into both the drinkable and the affordable categories:

• Sainsbury's cafe in Maidenhead (85p for a cup of tea! I got breakfast for £1.50!) If you sit upstairs then the lack of atmosphere is not that noticeable, and it can be quite peaceful.
• World cafe in Reading (about £1 for a cup of tea. They do a good hot chocolate too.) More atmosphere, global-ethnic-feel, food not that cheap but at least it tastes better than your average American brand coffee shop wrapped-in-plastic sandwich. And you can afford it with the money you save on the tea. A good place to meet friends, or sit in the window and watch the strange world of Reading go by.

I do have more tips to come, but I really don't want this blog to be just about me! So please share your own tips with me, I'm looking forward to them, and promise to give them a go (within reason) and report back here.

Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith. - Margaret Shephard

I like to run away every now and then. Call it travel if you will.
Some of us just have travelitis in our - blood? our genes? I have friends who can happily tighten their belts by not going on holiday, and they're no more unhappy for it, but some of us seem to have an inbuilt need to travel. I don't know what the difference is. My non-travelling friends are not uncurious, or unadventurous - not at all. But there you have it. For me a trip abroad to a new place is not a luxury, it's a necessity. The one year since I entered full-time employment that I tried not to go anywhere due to brokeness, I was utterly miserable. I lived in Reading at the time and could not walk past the Heathrow bus without being overcome with the urge to jump on it. It's a good job I never had my passport with me. That would have been a fun phone call to make to work.

So where does that leave me now that I'm currently without an income? I have the freedom from the restraints of annual leave, and as I left work lots of people asked me if I was planning on travelling. Not far and not for very long was my answer as I weighed up how much rent I'd actually get out of one of the world's stingiest redundancy packages. So far I've managed 2 days by the Welsh seaside, and it was lovely, but... I do find myself desperate to book a flight, go somewhere, anywhere that isn't the UK. Preferably tomorrow. I daren't. Not yet. So I'm having to improvise.

My tips for the grounded traveller:

1. Anticipate. Plan a trip you can't afford yet, but will be within reach without winning the lottery. For me, this is that Greek Island hopping trip I've been wanting to do for years. I've bought myself a guide book and am going to start planning a route, and as soon as I have even the bare minimum of means, I'm going. I'm promising myself. In the meantime, I'm going to have all the fun of sifting through my choices, looking at beautiful pictures, deciding where and when and how. (This one won't work for you so well if you're not a planner. I love planning. Ooh the lists I could write for this trip, I'm giddy at the thought.)
2. Go to the most exotic local places you can find. If you're in or near London this is easy - Edgeware Road is I think the place with a restaurant for almost every country in the world. But it might be on your doorstep, and works better for a quick fix if it is. I'm lucky enough to have an Italian delicatessen as one of my corner shops - it's so incongruous, I couldn't believe my luck when I first stumbled on it. It's full of Italian customers, talking in Italian to the Italian staff, and you can go in, buy Italian pasta and olive oil and all sorts, or just listen to the beautiful language and pretend you are in Rome.
3. Recreate a favourite destination at home. I read about this somewhere, an idea of having a whole weekend themed around a country, e.g. Spain you could play Flamenco music, while eating Tapas, watch a Spanish film, you get the idea.
4. Relive previous trips. Dust off old photo albums. Pick up a favourite souvenir, sit and hold it, remember where you were and how you felt when you bought it. I swear this warms you up AND lowers blood pressure.
5. Get a bit of culture - search the internet for your local events - see an art exhibition - go to a concert - but choose something that's touring from somewhere that is, for you, exotic. The annual Flamenco festival that Sadlers Wells do every February is a great example. Oh but wait, that's a bit pricey I suppose (although cheaper than many plane tickets) - well, back to tip number 3 then - your local library may well still have CDs for rent at low prices, and if so will probably have a world music section. They will certainly have art books. Check the Film4 listings. Go somewhere new.

Tell me your tips for the grounded traveller and I'll try them out, add them to the list and report back on their success.

Gone paddling - back later.

The dangers of television (part two)

I have made the money-saving discovery that the website SeeSaw offers free TV (meaning less temptation to purchase dvds). I don't recommend watching too many episodes of Hustle - one and a half series in, and I'm finding myself thinking that becoming a grifter could be a serious lifestyle choice.

Reality check needed please.

Networking for introverts (part one)

I mentioned I might blog about the networking workshop I attended, aka 'how to uncover the hidden job market', but as I started writing, it turned into something else - a blog about the difficulties of networking for introverts.

The workshop was run by Next Step - it seems a lot of people I speak to haven't heard of them, which is a real shame, because they are a valuable and - rare at this time, surely - free resource for job-hunters. Look them up in your area, there is bound to be a local adviser you can book with. I wanted to go because of that statistic you may have heard - 40-60% of jobs are unadvertised - I'm not currently having much luck getting shortlisted for the advertised ones so I'm very willing to try something else.

I ought at this point to say that of the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types, I am apparently an INTJ (with a strong preference for introversion over extroversion). This makes networking more than a little challenging for me. It basically means that for me, small talk with strangers both pains and drains me. I have learned the value of it over recent years, but it seems that I'll now have to move up a gear. Our workshop leader, Alka, said that if we're currently job-hunting, we need to make 10 contacts a day. That's 10 phonecalls or emails or conversations. Every day. Going out of our way to attend groups such as the Executive Jobclub. Introverts reading this will be shuddering - not because we don't like people - nothing could be further from the truth - but because this will take a lot of energy. We get our energy from being alone, being with other people expends it. And yet after the 10 contacts of the day, I'll still need energy to fill in applications, and more. Falling into a slump will not be an option.

So I've been thinking about this a lot since the workshop (and my subsequent one to one appointment with Alka), and have come up with a compromise. I'll still apply for jobs that are advertised, and spend a good proportion of my time on these - after all, I'm seeing some really tempting jobs that way, and just because there's tough competition, it doesn't mean I shouldn't try. Plus I get to communicate with potential employers by writing - by far my most preferred means of communication.

Secondly, I'll do as much of my networking as possible via the internet. I'm already well on my way to a decent LinkedIn profile, but have yet to really get the most out of this valuable tool. I already know lots of people via Facebook and Twitter, and all of these tools have the advantage again of allowing me to write to someone first, conserving energy, and setting up phone calls and face to face meetings as and when a useful contact is made.

Finally, my 'down' time will be filled with activities that recharge my introvert's brain (our brains really do work differently from extroverts - read all about it in The Introvert Advantage). I'm making a list, identifying ingredients for soothing my overstimulated brain - staring out of windows (train windows are the best), birdwatching, gardening, colouring (yes I did say colouring - well I can't draw, and colour is something that affects me positively, in all sorts of ways), knitting of course. Reading, too, if it's the right book. A change of scene whenever possible. Focussing on my breathing. Turning making a cup of tea into a ceremony (as it should be) - taking note of the scent, the steam, choosing my cup carefully, feeling the warmth (something we've lost since the advent of the kettle and the teabag - but that's a whole other blog).

Learning to live life at my own pace - something I've longed to do for some time.

Yes I'm a tortoise, but I always get there in the end.

The dangers of television (part one)

My addiction to US crime and forensic dramas is planting some worrying ideas in my head. Grissom tonight had a suspect who: 'was laid off last year... been building bombs ever since'.
Not the kind of inspiration I'm looking for, Mr Grissom.

(note to any investigators of blogs looking for signs of suspicious activity - this is just a joke, honest guv'nor)