The career-change learning curve; and travelling light

I've been meaning for a while to lay some ghosts to rest regarding my decision - announced abruptly here - to give up the volunteering I'd been doing. My post was a little tongue in cheek, and more than a little aimed at my dislike of current government ideas. But I had reasons for giving up the voluntary work and I did learn from the experience. All of that can be helpful.

1. When you're changing career, you have to try out a few different things. I knew that from day one. You might have an ideal job in your head, but in reality you need to try it before you sink all your time and resources into chasing it, as well as of course showing your potential new colleagues and bosses some commitment. So voluntary work can be extremely useful in this way.
2. When you try out a few different things, some of them are not going to be the right fit for you. It's only fair to yourself to build in an exit strategy when going for a volunteer role. Keep it short-term, and be sure it's time you really can spare. In my case, I'd been so excited by the role, I'd agreed to everything on their terms and later had realised that it was costing me time and money I could ill afford, while not gaining me the experience I had hoped for. My mistake, and I regret it as I don't like letting people down. Nevertheless, I have learned from the experience.
3. Lay those ghosts to rest. When I left my last job, a friend who had been through a similar experience the year before, advised me to write a letter to my old bosses (not for posting I hasten to add - I need references from these people) to let go of the negative feelings I had towards them - let's face it, anyone who gets made redundant is going to have some feelings of resentment. I wish I had done that, it was good advice. Instead, I found that a certain aspect of my relationship with my volunteer organisation was pressing buttons in a remarkably similar way to how the dynamics at work had been, and it made me want to run for the hills. I'm not going to let that happen again, which means writing that letter at long last.

Travelling light, and see how much fun he's having?

The importance of a day off

One of the pitfalls of this looking-for-work malarkey is that you can just end up trying too damn hard, while always feeling you're not doing enough (otherwise you'd have a job by now, right?). I used to tell my housemate to have a day off, properly - no 'just one email' - or she would burn out.

And yet, here I am on 'holiday', glued to the laptop I lugged up to Scotland with me, checking my emails first thing and feeling miserable, defeated and overwhelmed.

I am switching the computer off, putting it back in the suitcase, where it stays until I get home.

Guest blog: The Ones Left Behind

A new, thoughtful perspective, from a friend who has just taken redundancy - he writes his own blog at One Small Thing which is well worth checking out - writing is certainly amongst his many talents.

There are things that you know to expect when you are made redundant – or at least, things that you’ve been told to expect. About the process of adjusting to not working, and not having an income. But there are also things that you don’t really expect. For example…

One of the principal things I’ve felt during the lead-up to redundancy is concern for my colleagues. Not the ones that are leaving with me, although obviously I do, but more unexpectedly for the ones that are staying.

The thing is, these are people that I have worked with for a number of years, people I’ve grown fond of. And the workplace I’m leaving behind is not going to be a very nice place to be in the near future. There are going to be a lot less people doing the work, but the expectations of the customers are not going to be lowered.

We’ve tried, those of us going, to train up the survivors as best we can, but it’s not easy when management won’t decide on the type of service that they want. Not that there would be enough time to do it properly in any case. So there’s a gap – between what the customer wants, and what the re-shaped service will be able to provide.

And of course, it’s the staff who will bear the brunt of it – the moans and the complaints – at the same time as trying to cope with a massively increased workload and a lot of new tasks that they haven’t been adequately prepared for.

To be honest, towards the end I was thinking that I was one of the lucky ones – despite the lack of income and the uncertain future. And that’s something I really wasn’t expecting.

Do the thing you think you cannot do

I have been a little reluctant to blog over the last couple of weeks, due basically to discouragement setting in. But I know from reading my favourite career change blogs and articles that discouragement is part and parcel of the process. It's a scary thing to do, to leave what you know, and what you know you're good at. And for me, the temptation right now to run straight back to the work environment that was making me miserable, is at times overwhelming. And maybe that's ok. A bit of comfort and familiarity, and getting paid for it too? Or will it feel like a step back? Is it giving up? Already?

I guess the truth is, career changes don't happen in one big leap, at least not for most of us. A recent article on Careershifters advocates staged career shifts, e.g. going part time in your current job, while gaining relevant experience in your chosen new field in your time off - less scary, less risky. It wasn't the right choice for me but I can see the sense in it for others. So I may seek casual work in my old profession, and will choose to see it as a means to an end, if it pays for my voluntary work then that justifies it, and if I don't see it as a step back, then it doesn't matter if others think of it that way.

I also remembered the other day, reading a tip several years ago - while still barely dipping a metaphorical toe in the career change pool - that changing career would involve you having to do things you didn't think you could do, and so to start practicing in little ways. It makes sense if, like me, you stay too long in a job because you think: well, I know I can make a success of this, whereas if I try to do something else I might fail, so I won't try. An example for me right now is: fundraising, me? I can't ask people for money. I'm not wired up like that. This career change guru (if I find your name, I will give you credit, I promise!) said, start with one thing you don't think you can do, and then - simply - do it. Her example was exercise - like me, she hated it, and unlike me, got up every day and went running and made it part of her life; and started to think of herself differently. I experienced that this week, as I finally got to a yoga class; I thought I would hate it, feared I'd be the only one unable to do the stretches, and secretly hoped I'd love it. I liked it. I want to go back. I'm thinking of myself differently. And it makes me wonder what else I can do.

So, tell me: what is your 'thing you think you cannot do', and are you going to try it? If you do, let me know how it goes!

Dealing with rejections

It's a character-building process, this job-hunting lark. The biggest challenge for me last week was getting unexpectedly knocked by a rejection following an interview. Unexpected as it wasn't a job I particularly wanted and it wouldn't even have paid enough to live on. But that's the thing about applying for jobs - each one you do, you start imagining yourself there, part of that team, sitting in that office - and of course at an interview you get to dip your toe back into the world of work, and it looks like an escape from boredom, job centres and uncertainty.

I expected a string of no's before getting to the yes. That's the reality for most of us. You can't predict which 'no' is going to throw you off your game but it is likely to happen. It could be because you felt you really put your best face forward and it was deemed not good enough (let's call it the 'taking it personally' knock). It could be because you really, really wanted that particular job (the 'losing the dream' knock). It could be because you just want an end to all this applications, CVs, constant searching (the 'running out of steam' knock).

So what did I learn to do about it? Well I admit it took me longer to pick myself up and dust myself off than it should have done. I think it's healthy to allow yourself to feel the disappointment, wallow in it, but only for a short time - let's say 15 minutes, not two days! Then - move on. Find the next dream job to apply for; or make yourself a better candidate than you were last week, by signing up to learn a new skill, or practising answers to the trickiest questions they tripped you up on in that last interview. There is always something proactive you can do.

Be resilient.

See, this is a flower growing even though it's surrounded by tarmac n stuff. It's resilient, geddit?

Networking for introverts part two: LinkedIn For Dummies

I've been meaning to do this post for ages. LinkedIn is brilliant and yet hardly anyone I know uses it, or uses it properly. My aim for this post is to convince some or even all of you who read this to sign up!

So, what is it? I think of it as 'social networking goes to work'. It has multiple functions and benefits, and so far as I can see, no drawbacks (speaking as a person with a love-hate relationship with Facebook, I've never had that 'I wish I'd never joined' feeling with LinkedIn). It's a great way of:

• keeping in touch with people you've worked with, more important these days as we move around jobs a lot more than we used to;
• connecting to new people - you can see who your contacts know, and ask for an introduction;
• getting your references online, so to speak, in that you can ask for recommendations, and write them for others too;
• researching your job-hunt - you can follow companies you're interested in, discover new ones, you can join groups and get involved in discussions, again finding new connections, and you can of course search for jobs - the great thing being, if you have a connection in a company, those jobs will rise to the top of the list. E.g. I put in 'community development' as a search term, and the first job was with the National Trust - with a little '2nd' next to it, because one of my contacts is connected to someone at the NT. So straight away I can send off a message to my contact asking if she can put me in touch.

It's easy to set up a profile, the basic account is free and is far from basic - can't see why you'd pay for more unless it was your main means of jobhunting - all in all, it's a great way of keeping up your visibility, and of presenting yourself as you want to be seen.

The only possible downside is that some employers apparently take it as read that if you have a LinkedIn profile, it automatically means you're looking for another job. I think this is a real shame, and a misunderstanding, as you can make it clear what you are and are not interested in. But unless this is the case, there really isn't a reason for not being on there, if you work or want to work (landed gentry and lottery winners I guess may not need to bother).

Well, I've convinced myself to give this great site more of my time and effort, even if I don't convince any of you! If you do get yourself a profile, look me up - there's a link at the top of the blog page. See you there.

You don't need funds to live well

One of the things my friends have been suggesting I blog about is on how to save money, and given that a change to a cheaper lifestyle is a big part of the adjustment to any change in circumstances that brings in a lower income, it's something I'm keen to address. My reluctance so far has come from the knowledge that the internet abounds in really good tips and advice and what could I possibly have to offer? Nothing except my own experience, which is after all the point of a blog, so what follows is part one of a seemingly random list of ways I've found so far to save money.

You'll notice the lack of sensible, dull actions like switching utilities and bank accounts etc, all the things moneysavingexpert says you should do. You should. I've made a start. But I don't want to write about that. My main concern is how to still do the things I love, and maybe find new things to do I didn't know I loved. So that's my focus. And part one, predictably for a blog, is all about eating and drinking.

Austerity meals.
This is actually a friend's idea, and one I haven't tried yet, but I loved it so much I've nicked it anyway. Like many of us child-free, solvent adults, she and her friends have been used to going out for meals on a fairly regular basis. I too am used to heading off to Pizza Express (admittedly with a 2 for 1 voucher) at the drop of a hat. Now that said friend and her friends are all down to part time work, they've agreed instead to have dinner at one another's houses, and each bring a course. You still get to celebrate with a slap-up meal, the host(ess) isn't responsible for the whole evening but shares the workload, there's no arguing over the bill at the end of the evening (maybe the washing up), and you can probably sink into a sofa with your coffee aftewards. Win-win.

Popping out for a cuppa. I'm sure you'll be the first to admit, we now have culture of spending an alarming amount of time and money in coffee shops. It's an expensive habit, and one I reckoned I'd give up more or less while between jobs. Actually, it's the treat I crave more than anything - if only for the change of scene. I stagnate if I stay at home, especially when faced with an endless and thankless list of job-hunting tasks. There's something soothing about the right cafe, with the right amount of background noise and buzz, and a comforting warm drink. If I'm feeling stuck at home, I sometimes find an hour in a cafe with a pad, paper and job application is amazingly productive. I have two places I can list so far, that fall into both the drinkable and the affordable categories:

• Sainsbury's cafe in Maidenhead (85p for a cup of tea! I got breakfast for £1.50!) If you sit upstairs then the lack of atmosphere is not that noticeable, and it can be quite peaceful.
• World cafe in Reading (about £1 for a cup of tea. They do a good hot chocolate too.) More atmosphere, global-ethnic-feel, food not that cheap but at least it tastes better than your average American brand coffee shop wrapped-in-plastic sandwich. And you can afford it with the money you save on the tea. A good place to meet friends, or sit in the window and watch the strange world of Reading go by.

I do have more tips to come, but I really don't want this blog to be just about me! So please share your own tips with me, I'm looking forward to them, and promise to give them a go (within reason) and report back here.

Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith. - Margaret Shephard

I like to run away every now and then. Call it travel if you will.
Some of us just have travelitis in our - blood? our genes? I have friends who can happily tighten their belts by not going on holiday, and they're no more unhappy for it, but some of us seem to have an inbuilt need to travel. I don't know what the difference is. My non-travelling friends are not uncurious, or unadventurous - not at all. But there you have it. For me a trip abroad to a new place is not a luxury, it's a necessity. The one year since I entered full-time employment that I tried not to go anywhere due to brokeness, I was utterly miserable. I lived in Reading at the time and could not walk past the Heathrow bus without being overcome with the urge to jump on it. It's a good job I never had my passport with me. That would have been a fun phone call to make to work.

So where does that leave me now that I'm currently without an income? I have the freedom from the restraints of annual leave, and as I left work lots of people asked me if I was planning on travelling. Not far and not for very long was my answer as I weighed up how much rent I'd actually get out of one of the world's stingiest redundancy packages. So far I've managed 2 days by the Welsh seaside, and it was lovely, but... I do find myself desperate to book a flight, go somewhere, anywhere that isn't the UK. Preferably tomorrow. I daren't. Not yet. So I'm having to improvise.

My tips for the grounded traveller:

1. Anticipate. Plan a trip you can't afford yet, but will be within reach without winning the lottery. For me, this is that Greek Island hopping trip I've been wanting to do for years. I've bought myself a guide book and am going to start planning a route, and as soon as I have even the bare minimum of means, I'm going. I'm promising myself. In the meantime, I'm going to have all the fun of sifting through my choices, looking at beautiful pictures, deciding where and when and how. (This one won't work for you so well if you're not a planner. I love planning. Ooh the lists I could write for this trip, I'm giddy at the thought.)
2. Go to the most exotic local places you can find. If you're in or near London this is easy - Edgeware Road is I think the place with a restaurant for almost every country in the world. But it might be on your doorstep, and works better for a quick fix if it is. I'm lucky enough to have an Italian delicatessen as one of my corner shops - it's so incongruous, I couldn't believe my luck when I first stumbled on it. It's full of Italian customers, talking in Italian to the Italian staff, and you can go in, buy Italian pasta and olive oil and all sorts, or just listen to the beautiful language and pretend you are in Rome.
3. Recreate a favourite destination at home. I read about this somewhere, an idea of having a whole weekend themed around a country, e.g. Spain you could play Flamenco music, while eating Tapas, watch a Spanish film, you get the idea.
4. Relive previous trips. Dust off old photo albums. Pick up a favourite souvenir, sit and hold it, remember where you were and how you felt when you bought it. I swear this warms you up AND lowers blood pressure.
5. Get a bit of culture - search the internet for your local events - see an art exhibition - go to a concert - but choose something that's touring from somewhere that is, for you, exotic. The annual Flamenco festival that Sadlers Wells do every February is a great example. Oh but wait, that's a bit pricey I suppose (although cheaper than many plane tickets) - well, back to tip number 3 then - your local library may well still have CDs for rent at low prices, and if so will probably have a world music section. They will certainly have art books. Check the Film4 listings. Go somewhere new.

Tell me your tips for the grounded traveller and I'll try them out, add them to the list and report back on their success.

Gone paddling - back later.

The dangers of television (part two)

I have made the money-saving discovery that the website SeeSaw offers free TV (meaning less temptation to purchase dvds). I don't recommend watching too many episodes of Hustle - one and a half series in, and I'm finding myself thinking that becoming a grifter could be a serious lifestyle choice.

Reality check needed please.

Networking for introverts (part one)

I mentioned I might blog about the networking workshop I attended, aka 'how to uncover the hidden job market', but as I started writing, it turned into something else - a blog about the difficulties of networking for introverts.

The workshop was run by Next Step - it seems a lot of people I speak to haven't heard of them, which is a real shame, because they are a valuable and - rare at this time, surely - free resource for job-hunters. Look them up in your area, there is bound to be a local adviser you can book with. I wanted to go because of that statistic you may have heard - 40-60% of jobs are unadvertised - I'm not currently having much luck getting shortlisted for the advertised ones so I'm very willing to try something else.

I ought at this point to say that of the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types, I am apparently an INTJ (with a strong preference for introversion over extroversion). This makes networking more than a little challenging for me. It basically means that for me, small talk with strangers both pains and drains me. I have learned the value of it over recent years, but it seems that I'll now have to move up a gear. Our workshop leader, Alka, said that if we're currently job-hunting, we need to make 10 contacts a day. That's 10 phonecalls or emails or conversations. Every day. Going out of our way to attend groups such as the Executive Jobclub. Introverts reading this will be shuddering - not because we don't like people - nothing could be further from the truth - but because this will take a lot of energy. We get our energy from being alone, being with other people expends it. And yet after the 10 contacts of the day, I'll still need energy to fill in applications, and more. Falling into a slump will not be an option.

So I've been thinking about this a lot since the workshop (and my subsequent one to one appointment with Alka), and have come up with a compromise. I'll still apply for jobs that are advertised, and spend a good proportion of my time on these - after all, I'm seeing some really tempting jobs that way, and just because there's tough competition, it doesn't mean I shouldn't try. Plus I get to communicate with potential employers by writing - by far my most preferred means of communication.

Secondly, I'll do as much of my networking as possible via the internet. I'm already well on my way to a decent LinkedIn profile, but have yet to really get the most out of this valuable tool. I already know lots of people via Facebook and Twitter, and all of these tools have the advantage again of allowing me to write to someone first, conserving energy, and setting up phone calls and face to face meetings as and when a useful contact is made.

Finally, my 'down' time will be filled with activities that recharge my introvert's brain (our brains really do work differently from extroverts - read all about it in The Introvert Advantage). I'm making a list, identifying ingredients for soothing my overstimulated brain - staring out of windows (train windows are the best), birdwatching, gardening, colouring (yes I did say colouring - well I can't draw, and colour is something that affects me positively, in all sorts of ways), knitting of course. Reading, too, if it's the right book. A change of scene whenever possible. Focussing on my breathing. Turning making a cup of tea into a ceremony (as it should be) - taking note of the scent, the steam, choosing my cup carefully, feeling the warmth (something we've lost since the advent of the kettle and the teabag - but that's a whole other blog).

Learning to live life at my own pace - something I've longed to do for some time.

Yes I'm a tortoise, but I always get there in the end.

The dangers of television (part one)

My addiction to US crime and forensic dramas is planting some worrying ideas in my head. Grissom tonight had a suspect who: 'was laid off last year... been building bombs ever since'.
Not the kind of inspiration I'm looking for, Mr Grissom.

(note to any investigators of blogs looking for signs of suspicious activity - this is just a joke, honest guv'nor)

Career change for beginners

I found an old email yesterday, from three years ago, reminding me of how I started thinking through this whole career change idea (and it has taken a lot of thinking - a vital part of the process). The email was very simple. It was five questions to ask yourself, if you really don't know what else you could do for a living:

1. What activities do you enjoy?
2. What subjects do you love most?
3. What environments do you thrive in?
4. What are you naturally good at?
5. What's really important to you?

Not easy questions to answer. I suspect they came from one of the useful free resources I signed up for at that time, which I can recommend if you're even vaguely considering a change in direction. The first is a brilliant website called Careershifters which is full of free advice and success stories. It's run by experienced career changers and lots of career coaches, life coaches and similar inspirational types submit articles and advice. You can sign up for their regular newsletter and get a free top tips e-book. A lot of the authors also offer free newsletters and write very good blogs on a wide range of topics. My top site for beginner career changers.

What I did next was sign up for one of their London workshops, which then led me directly to the career coach company One Smart Step. At this point, having reapplied for my job, and realising I might be living on borrowed time at work, I invested in one-to-one career coaching with them. Four sessions with Sonia (read her blog Happy Mondays) led me to a much clearer idea of what I enjoy most about work and what I have to offer, a CV to be proud of, and a plan to put into action. And most of all, a newfound sense of confidence. Without Sonia I wouldn't have had the courage to take the leap of faith I did.

I realise not everyone will want to or be able to pay for one to one coaching. There is of course free advice from Nextstep, as I mentioned in an earlier post. It won't be as tailored to you and your particular situation but anyone is entitled to three free sessions a year, and you will get some useful tips. I've been lucky enough to meet several Nextstep advisors as part of my job, and all of them have been very knowledgeable.

It's great to know that there is a whole community of career changers out there, meaning no-one has to do this alone.

If you have to support yourself, you had better find some way that is going to be interesting.

Katharine Hepburn

Keeping motivated

I've had an encouraging response to the blog so far and would particularly like to thank the friends (?) who took such delight in taking literally my invitation to kick me into action. Those of you who told me you ate a frog as a result of last week's post - well done! I now have a copy of 'Eat That Frog' to read and am hoping for miracles (isn't that how these motivational books make so much money?)

Talking of motivation - I've heard it's common for energy levels to rise and dip dramatically during redundancy - I only wish that someone could tell me how long it lasts. Once I'd made my decision to accept voluntary redundancy, back in January, I couldn't wait to leave work and get on with all the stuff I had in mind, as part of the next chapter in my life. So I'm frustrated with my inability, now I have the time, to achieve anywhere near as much as I think I should be. There are some days I can get lots done and feel very positive; others when I can barely get started or even decide on what to do. I guess this may well have happened to me at work to some extent, but it's less noticeable when you know you're being paid to just get on with it no matter how you feel. For some reason, I can't do that for myself. It doesn't help when people naturally want to ask you, every time they speak to you, what jobs you've applied for recently, have you had any interviews, have you got a new job yet? No pressure then!

At this point I'd really like to hear from others who have been in the same situation and get some tips. In the meantime, I've found a favourite blog particularly helpful, it's called Bounce Back Cafe and recently they posted on what to do when you're stuck which I found gave me permission to stop beating myself up when defeated by the to-do list, and go off and do something else. Which is what I'm going to do right now, in the hope of a more motivated day tomorrow.

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.”
— Mary Anne Radmacher

Frogs for breakfast, lunch and dinner

I'm sure you've heard the phrase 'eat a frog for breakfast' by now. Google it - it's everywhere. Not sure who to attribute it to, but various sources suggested are Brian Tracy, author of Eat That Frog! to Mark Twain (surely he can't be responsible for all the quotes attributed to him on t'internet?) It's something my housemate is good at doing, and a philosophy I've used at work before now. Namely - That Task on your to-do list, the one you've been dreading, the one you would put off forever, the one that popped into your mind this morning when you woke up and your heart sank - do it straight away. Apparently it does wonders for your motivation and your effectiveness.

I've just got back from a very useful session with a Nextstep advisor, who very rightly diagnosed me with a severe case of the procrastination bug. I know what I need to do. I have the contacts, I have the tools, I have the time. I just don't want to do any of it. My entire to-do list consists of ugly, revolting frogs. (Why it's so difficult for me to do it will possibly be the topic of the next blog post - working title, Networking for Introverts.)

Solutions? Get someone to give you a good kick up the backside. Volunteers, please form an orderly queue at the front door. Give yourself a treat after each frog - to continue the metaphor, wash it down with something more palatable. That's all I have so far but I am open to suggestions - especially if any of you, my lovely readers, have actually read one of those 'how to get things done' type books and have other tips to share?

And the teddy bear lived happily ever after

Another piece of good news. The sad teddy bear in the picture on my first post is no longer in the window. I like to think he was bought and taken home to be loved by a child, and is now living his happy ending.

'Redundant' is such an ugly word

The word 'redundant' has to be one of the English language's most negative words. There is no happy context for it that I can find, it always simply boils down to 'not needed'. No wonder we fear it. No one wants to think of themselves as 'superfluous to requirement'. I fought with myself over including it in the title of my blog, but given that's the subject, how else would you know what I was blogging about? I've done my best to give it a positive spin, but am still not all that happy with it. It's supposed to suggest a choice, an opportunity, but could, I realise, suggest some sort of professional suicide attempt.

But here's the good news. You are not redundant. I am not redundant. There is no such thing as a redundant person. The most useful thing I did last week was attend a workshop at my local library on uncovering the hidden job market (I may blog about that later), and as we introduced ourselves, the man next to me said 'I was made redundant' - then corrected himself to 'my post was made redundant, not me'. It seems to me to be very important that we each take time to word that right, whether to others, or to ourselves. It will affect our feelings of success or failure, and our motivation to pick ourselves up and try something new.

So here's my action for this blog, which I would encourage you to do too: think about what makes you unique? There is only one you, and no-one else can be you as well as you can. Yes it's a cliche but please don't shrug it off - there is more to each person breathing on this planet that what they do for a living, and in this culture, which is so obsessed with work, we need to remind ourselves of that from time to time.

And the last word goes to Audrey Hepburn:
“People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.”

The obligatory shopping post

This is not a shopping blog. Therefore I should not write an entire post entitled, what shall I spend my leaving-present-gift-vouchers on?

I will resist. Unless John Lewis want to sponsor me to wax lyrical about their lovely products? Hello John Lewis? No?

Goodnight then.

What happens next is up to me

Week one, day three, and I miss my colleagues (who I've spent most of my waking hours with over the last four years, many of whom are very good friends). I miss my routine (even though I was terrible at getting to work on time), and I miss my sense of purpose to the day (even though I counted down the hours till I could leave work). I also feel a bit resentful, bizarrely, that whereas daytime TV used to be a guilty pleasure, in a tee-hee-I-should-be-working sort of way, now it just makes me feel unemployed. I'm in danger of forgetting why I took that leap off the cliff and in danger of regretting it already.


In short, I wanted my life back. I wanted to get control back over what was most important to me, have time and energy to spend with friends and family, enjoy my weekends instead of being too tired and too stressed to do anything but sleep. I wanted to learn to cook, get fitter, spend more time outside, learn what birds visit my garden to eat the birdfood I dutifully put out each day before disappearing till it's dark. And I wanted to revel in the possibilities and choices now open to me, and to enjoy exploring them.

So my first action is to work on my new daily and weekly routine. Of course, job-hunting, networking etc will play a part (as, unfortunately, will fighting with HR over my missing P45 - only the start of the bureaucracy I'm up against, I'm sure). But I will also take a photo every day, take a walk once a week, finally get to a yoga class, cook the vegetables that arrive in my veg box rather than throwing them away guiltily and having frozen pizza again. I'll remember everybody's birthdays, phone my friends up north more regularly, play with my niece and nephew whenever I get the chance. I'll apply for volunteering for causes I'm passionate about. I'll learn new things about myself. I'll take every day as a gift, until the next job comes along.

And I'll renew my passport. You never know where those possibilities and choices might take me.

The scariest moment is always just before you start. – Stephen King

After 15 years of training, qualifying and working, my chosen career and I are finally going our separate ways. It had not been an easy fit for quite some time. Last Friday was my last day, after opting for voluntary redundancy. I am luckier than many, in that I chose to go, even if the circumstances which led to that decision were not of my making. Yet I find myself in a strange place right now, feeling a sense of loss, a lot of fear, a bit like a boat cast adrift and wondering which direction the shore is in.

The most poignant image of recession I've seen so far - in the window of a local shop closing down. Me and the teddy had much in common on Friday when I took this picture.

Over the last few weeks and months, I've been looking for advice and tips from others who have been through this experience before me. I can find plenty of legal advice, financial advice, careers and CV advice - but nothing so far on the emotional impact, on how redundancy affects your sense of self, nothing to prepare you for the highs and lows. (If you find any, please share with me!)  And that's what has inspired this blog. I'll refer to useful practical sources when appropriate, but really plenty of other people do that better than me. What I want to do is motivate myself (and if by doing so I can motivate others, all the better), and prove that redundancy can be an opportunity. I look forward to recording the journey here, and hopefully hearing about others' stories too.